All those quotes you never said
For some of which you could have sued
Oh, the hateful mail you've read
Defending things you've not reviewed

All for a punchier headline
Even when the article was thine
Dramatic quotes so rarely true
Has this been happening to you

All those quotes you never said
More famous than you'll ever be
All those prices on your head
For nothing much to do with thee

Some make fun of your speech defects
Some make fun of your homosexuality
Some of your height
Whatever, please just quote you right

All those quotes you never said
Will drown out anything you say
All those trolls who want you dead
Will dance 'round your auto da fe